Good discussion

I just got back from Lifegroup and I really really enjoyed it. I realize that I hardly ever blog about my lifegroup. This is probably my first time. I'm so terrible. They really are, the best!

We spoke about 'liminal spaces' for a bit before we digressed to a whole other topic 'Boy-girl relationships'.

It was so interesting because Steph Tong and I were the only girls. There were 7 other guys, I think. But it feels so good to talk openly about it. I mean, to really hear what the guys thought and them hearing what we thought.

And especially because I've been binging on books on relationships (seriously) and sometimes it's just too much information that it gets confusing. It was refreshing hearing real people talk.

Eventually, there were some ideas that brought up really good discussion.

1. The list (you know, the must-haves and the negotiables) How important is the list? What happens if you meet someone who doesn't meet ALL the points on your list? How do you go about it? What's on the list? And should you bring up the list to your partner?

2. What do girls want? The boys really wanted to know this. I think Steph and I agreed on leadership and guys knowing want they want and where they're headed in life. Leadership and direction, the two main things. We had to explain this to the guys. It was quite funny.

3. The paradox. We also discussed how the 'curse' for women as stated by some books was that they tend to want to dominate in a relationship yet want the guy to step up. Hence, the paradox. One way or the other, something's amiss. But I guess being aware of it helps.

4. The fears. For man- apparently, failure. For women, being unloved...or insecurity. Another interesting discussion which got us telling stories of how those fears have led to destructive states. And it was so interesting to hear guys worrying about getting it 'right' so much so that they're afraid to do something. And girls who worry more about being alone so that they settle for way less that they deserve. And finally saying that that's why they both need God. For guys to find their strengths in God and for girls to first be secure in God.

5. Communicate- Then we highlighted the importance of honesty and communication. Because at the end of the day, even as partners, we live in separate bodies and we need to express ourselves honestly. Why guess when you can ask? When you can just 'say it' and save yourself all that headache. Honesty is the best policy. And alright, one point I got from a book is- where there is no honesty, there is no relationship.

There was so much more but these are the things I remember most.

Ahhh, I love good discussions.